“Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really”- A.Turnbull
There are still many people out there who do not fully understand how somebody can grieve their
beloved pet just as much as they would any human close to them. To us, animal lovers, it’s perfectly
understandable. Pets are truly a part of our families. They are there for us when we need them the
most, in our worst moments, in our best moments, always wagging their tail. We take them on
adventures, we cuddle them on the couch in front of the TV, we take care of them for many years.
Unfortunately, the time always comes where they have to cross the rainbow bridge. And even
though we appreciate the fact that they were a part of our lives, their absence hurts so much! It’s
even harder when you hear somebody mount those awful words “it was just a dog”. It hurts when
people don’t understand your grieving process and you feel even more alone. That is why we created
this article to try and offer you some comfort in these difficult times.
Why is the pain so big?
Almost everybody that has a pet shares a strong and special bond with them. It doesn’t matter what
type of pet it is; a dog, a cat, a horse, or something else. Especially if the pets have longer life spans
and are by your side for many years. They have become a part of your everyday routine, and you just
can’t imagine your day-to-day life without their presence.
They offered companionship and endless fun, they pushed you to go out and be more physically
active, they made you smile when you didn’t feel like smiling. These moments have incredible value.
It is only natural that when the time comes and your beloved pet passes away, you will feel
heartbroken. The pain can be extremely overwhelming and it can trigger a lot of emotional responses
in you. This can be especially significant if the pet played a crucial role in your life in terms of it being
a working dog or a therapy animal. That is why it is crucial to be aware of how to handle this big loss
and come out stronger on the other side of it.
Tips on how to cope with the loss of your pet
Grief is a very individual and intimate thing. Not everybody grieves the same. Different people have
different grieving processes which are influenced by what kind of person you are, the circumstances
you lost your pet under, how do you generally feel in life, and many other things. For some people,
the grieving process might last for a few weeks or months, for others, it can last for years. And every
scenario is okay. It’s important to do whatever it is that you personally need. Not what people tell
you, not what others think it should look like. For that purpose, we will suggest a few tips that may or
may not help you in your grieving process. You can try some of them and find out for yourself.
One of the biggest reasons we have funerals after somebody passes away is to memorialize their
living and say our proper goodbyes. This is also applicable to our pets. You should find the right way
to memorialize your pet and properly send them on their way forward. Some people cremate their
pets and have beautiful pet urns to remember them by. Others bury their pets and have tombstones.
Write a letter, make a portrait, print your favorite photos of your pet or any other way that you
prefer to give importance to the passing away of your beloved pet.
As previously mentioned, the grieving process looks different for everyone. Some people try to block
out the pain and feel numb, other people completely break down and need time to pick themselves
up. There is no normal time or a normal process of how you should grieve. Be patient with yourself
and let the feelings, whatever they may be, lead the way for you. Feelings like sadness, shock,
loneliness, anger are completely normal. Don’t feel ashamed and try not to ignore or bottle up your
feelings. Expressing your grief is healthy and will help you in the mourning period.
We live in world of constant movement. We always have long to-do lists, we have to work, do
chores, see the people we love, etc. And in normal circumstances, that is what makes our life filled
up with experiences. But when you are feeling down and you are trying to cope with a loss of a
beloved pet, everything might feel overwhelming. To a person that lost a lot, it can be angering that
the world is going about as usual. You can even feel annoyed by people that feel happy or have good
news to share. That is why you should take time off and let your emotions feel as they feel. If you
have the possibility take a few days off work, or try to have fewer obligations on your to-do list.
Even though pain can be excruciating making you lose your desire for food, sleep, exercising,
socializing, working, and literally everything on Earth, you have to push through it. You might feel
guilty or haunted, you might have nightmares and a complete loss of appetite. Try your best to take
good care of yourself. Grieving is truly hard work that your mind has to go through, and it’s inevitably
affecting your body. You have to have the physical energy to fight every day and go through your
experience.
Like many things in life, sadness is better handled when shared with your loved ones. You want to
avoid people that are too pushy or say things like “It was just cat; you can get another one”.
Sometimes our family members don’t fully understand how we’re feeling and we have to choose
those that really do. If you have people in your circle that might understand you or have been
through the same loos, it might be helpful to take to them, get some tips on how to move on, or
simply just tell them your favorite memories of your pet before they passed away. You can even see
a therapist if you feel like this loss created a deeper imprint on your mental health. There’s nothing
wrong with asking for help when life is a bit too much to handle. Another option is to seek out
support groups that have many people feeling like you do. You are not alone!
If you have other pets keep your usual routine with them. They are also feeling the loss and having
the usual routine that they are familiar with can be soothing for them. Even if you don’t, just try to
have some routine that you have to think of all the time. Eat at the same time, go on walks often, go
to bed at the same time. When we have a known routine that we practice, we have a sense of
structure in our lives and this can help a lot in a time when our lives look like they got turned upside
down.
Usually, your life won’t stop if you lose a pet. If you are working, you are not going to have days off
unless you take some from your appointed ones. Even though you’re supposed to slow down and
take it easy as previously discussed, sometimes life can’t be put on a pause and you have
responsibilities to do. Take your kids to school, prepare lunch, go to work, go to the dentist, and do
other things that are inevitable. That is why it is crucial that you find a way to calm your mind every
day. You can try the usual calming things like practicing yoga or meditation and going on peaceful
hikes or beach walks. For other people calming down may look different. They might need to go
running, hitting the gym, kick-boxing, or some other activity where they burn off their energy. It is
important to know yourself and know what would work for you specifically.
The internet can be both an awful and a magnificent place. It just depends on your and in which
corner of it you dig. If you are alone and have nobody, or the people around you don’t quite
understand you, you can always turn to the internet. Of course, it is always advised to seek
professional help in these cases, but if you don’t have the means or simply don’t want to there are
other options. You can find online support groups for pet losses, forums where people are going
through the same chat or other organizations that help with grief.
Death is always sad and scary, but it is essentially what makes all life so valuable and amazing. In the
end, all you can do is cherish the time you got to spend with your beloved dog, cat, horse, hamster,
tortoise, or another type of pet. Try to be kind to yourself and to give yourself time. With time, the
pain will subside and who knows, you might even get a new pet if you feel like it.
